Sunday, August 19, 2007
I think I think... I'm turning emo again. at least for the moment. feel a smidgen of despondence coming on. I think I've lost focused, and lost track of life's purpose. I think life's meaningless, living everyday, a hollow empty carapace. like a silhouette, delineated by light, yet vanishing in it's intensity. Such unpredictability.
Yup. I'm depressed.
Ironically, now that I've realised that everything is meaningless, I've discovered some meaning. Just as in Ecclesiastes, the overwhelming vastness of meaningless things had me thinking of what is of value. I've found out that the world is really such a pathetically hackneyed banal place. I mean GP had really opened my eyes into comprehending the saddening lack of value consumerism has -- the advocate of superfical -prima facie- hedonistic, self-gratifying activities. The way they sell pleasure, sex, power, materalistic riches and all the other meaningless crap out there... it's saddening.
Religion, on the other hand, is the advocate of morality. or whatever fibrins that remain of society's ethics. Kudos, but essentially still utter crap. There's this chinese saying that goes, ''no matter what religion your in, it doesn't matter cause all religions teach us to do good.'' Thus concurring with my first point of religion being counter advocates to worldly values. But also concurring to my second point, that is rubbish cause advocates of good apparently didn't think of teaching you HOW to do good rather then just giving you a set of 'good' rules to follow.
Nothing gained by us, no incentive, so why follow? Why do good? It's not economical.
Thus they have intelligently introduced other factors to encourage us to do good. like riches for example. or the more familiar health and wealth gospel. Ironically, it's not much different from pop culture and consumerism. The impetus is still similiar -- self-satisfaction, or narcissism, wrapped up in nicely in a honest façade. What Sir Augustine would define as splendid sins.
So thou sings masquerade. Which then brings us to the point on whether Christianity is a religion in the first place. I'd say no, but I've seen too many, and had personally once been, a Christian of religion rather than a representitive of Christ. Hedonism and narcissism obviously had no trouble inflitrating into all the religions, and Christianity, I realise, could be one of the worst affected. Considering that the other religion has strong conservative Asian cultures intergrated into it, that could be a buffer. I realise that many ''christians'' tend to use religion as an excuse for their misdeeds. Weird how so many mission schools have lesbians and pre-marital sex + abortion around huh? PLMGS, CHIJ and CJC would be some examples.
I cannot understand this predicament that is spreading like a plague. But there are 'explainations' given by many. So I live in a hedonistic world so much so that religion are also turning into advocates of worldly values. The word ''meaningless'' just got redefined. Which brings me to the issue that religion never saves anyone. Not Christianity or whatever. So technically, everyone's destined to hell if there is a afterlife and all that. Undoubtedly though, there IS death, and I've come to many undisputed evidence that lead me to the conclusion that there is heaven and hell. So we're all going to hell. Just like kenneth said.
Damn. It's depressing, it's sad. It's... un-understandable. Maybe that's why people buy such a culture we have today... cause it's all too confusing, all too messy, all too TROUBLESOME. Kenneth, btw, would be my friend who has a problem with demons and chinese gods of different kinds. It's a long long dismal story of mine. =\
But ultimately, i've realised one thing. That there is a God, and there's only one God. Why the church politics and disputes, I do not know. The reason that people are pariahed and sterotyped, that people are forming cliques and having holy huddles and yet claim to serve the same God... Why? I ask that myself. Everyday, and am distressed by it.
But there are absolute standards and definate answers. Though all I know now, is that God saves. So what meaning did I find in the midst of a meaningless environment? Simply put it, to fear God. And that being just a disciple, is insufficient for our time. True Christians are called to be disciple makers and makers of disciple makers. Then perhaps, the world will see, the meaning in life as death draws closer with every passing second.
Life sure sucks when you can't do anything about the things you see around you.
But the world keeps spinning, and life goes on.
Word of the Day; 12:11 AM
