Wednesday, December 05, 2007


Gosh I'm SO loaded. I have no idea what is going to happen to me when school reopens. I'm not even going to contemplate on what might happen because I know that nothing good will be installed for me. Even my intuition gives me a dreaded feel. Argh! Why do all this?

Now I know why it's impossible to be a solo Christian. Solo-ed from fellowship, solo-ed from the Word, solo-ed from Christ. How will we ever be heavenly minded, with our feet planted firmly to the ground if we solo-ed through life. Somemore messy jargons that apparently noone understands. I am in turmoil. So much to do, so little time. Everything around shouts that there is no hurry. No hurry to share e gospel, no hurry to change ourselves, no hurry to listen, no hurry to understand, no hurry to point others to a Saviour...

Sometimes I wonder what my priorities are? Sometimes I feel that all I do amounts to nothing but a hastening of my feet to put out life's fires. Like some headless chicken running about in its last few breathes, (although without a head) vainly struggling and fighting for survival before its impending death. How long will I last like this before I expire? I really do wonder...

Well, there's the youth camp to consider, watchnight service meetings to go, planning retreat 2008 meetings to attend, seminars and people to look after, responsibilities to fulfil as a camp commandent, a youth leader, a committee memeber in the worship ministry, watchnight and syfc... there seems to be no rest. I wonder, when will I burn out? Why do I do all this for? Not like anyone notices or appreciates what I've done. And hey, I don't want people to appreciate what I'm doing for God, because all I do, I strive, must point to God. But sometimes, after a day's of hardwork, I go home not to find solace but pressure. To be outside, seeking solitude only to be faced with struggle. This daily living might be how the old testament prophets, like my fav quote of elijah, live. Maybe in this world where 360 degree are filled with things that are against God, even within church walls, we fight a greater battle and a greater struggle. At least we should, but how many of us are? To be relying on God and clinging onto Him so tight lest we fall into the swirling vortex of the world, it's pleasures, it's distractions, it's appeals, it's allure. -- that all does one thing -- seperate you further from a Holy, Loving, Gracious God.


To be able to find someone that understands, a peer to share with, not just to share and edify, but be edified and edify others together... that someone, I long for, I seek, I desire to be with.

I'm not emo-ing btw. Neither am I devastated or anything. :) Haha. thanks for caring though. =P


See me poor sticks. So destroyed. =\ thanks to some bugger who placed e cymbals horizontally. -.-


Wishing I can just whack away right now. Music is impt to INTPs.

Word of the Day; 7:21 PM