Friday, February 29, 2008
Rantings of a sick boy
Ah. Where do I start.
I guess its time to come clean with what I've become over the years. School speaks of character building, but they hardly teach proper values. For that matter, the predominant values that are esteemed in school and society these days might as well be the grand cardinal tenets of individualism. Pragmatism, competition and idealism of what potentials we individual students might hold all amounts to a mad rush up the egotistical, self-absorbed, narcissistic ladder of Me Myself and I. And whatever the bugbear of attaining this type of nirvana might be, is veiled and chucked into an obscure corner. But after forgoing and sacrificing all that is precious, all that is important, all that is invaluable, all we end up with is a messed up life with the goals themselves consuming and destroying us in all aspects, but never fulfilling, never satisfying and never ever sustaining.
What is society? What comes to mind would be a warm community of supportive and loving individuals, putting others before themselves. But then again, its more of an idealistic definition than what is reflected in the real world. Just as Margret Thatcher once said, 'there is no such thing as society', we will never be able to survive if we do not buy into the survival of the fittest ideal.
My classmate once said that not everyone is selfish and self-consumed. But the fact is that everyone is, because we have no option, to an extend, on choosing what we want to be. Cognito ergo sum - I think, therefore I am. Isn't it true that we are what we think, and what we think consist of the myriads of ideas, interactions and relations that consistently bombard us everyday of our lives? We essentially are pieces of societal ideologies, pieces of people's conscience that our mind filters to be acceptable, and then haphazardly sewn together, some more fine than others. So in such a depraved world, are we truly righteous or blinded to our own imperfections? We are afterall perfectly imperfect and infamously flawed (-andrew).
So TULIP does indeed stand true. Do we stop trying for perfection? Of course not. Its innately instilled within us that we long and seek for perfection. Maybe this links back to a superior God and ultimate symbol of perfection. So why did God make us perfectly imperfect? Afterall, something imperfect can never make something perfect, just like a human craftsman cannot make a perfect rocking chair, just like how machines are able to break down. God is perfect isn't He. How do the advocates of Christianity account for this except to repeatedly declare the need for faith and more faith when all logic fails?
There must be more than this.
The closest I've come to appreciate life, is the existence of friends, family, relationship, and love. Unfortunately popular culture has subtly overthrown and made what is of importance to be at the mercy of that which is unimportant. Imbibing a daily dose of everyday pop culture exposure has slowly turn my mind putrid and shaped warped concepts of love, friendship and practically everything else that were once endowed with revered sacredness. To think that the flotsam of grandiose consumerism images, superficially embellished movie scenes, and senseless song lyrics - actually accounts for much of who we are. It reflects sadly upon us, not as problem solvers and fighters, but mindless individuals, unthinking and swamped by the pretty, simple, and ultimately voided reality we create for ourselves.
But then again, since everything is fickle and capricious, what does it matter who we become? Personal preference I'd say.
Life is but bullshit. Without anything worth. Empty of all meaning that holds true significance. Not just another mirage we concocted to add worth to our worthless life, for life is an end in itself. Vanity.
God save me.
My heart bleeds. - Where is the absolute truth dear Lord?
Word of the Day; 8:23 PM
