Friday, February 08, 2008
What is life? What is it all about upgrading thyself. so what if i'm the best? so what if i'm the lowest scum of the earth? so what if i'm super moral or immoral? so what if i'm normal. eh, life. can be the best, can be better, can expand my potential. but so what if i'm damn pro in the things i do? so what if ''i'm'' musically talented? is it a big deal that i'm better than others? what is pride to me? what is pride worth? nothing but self destruction. and so what if i'm lousier? why should i feel inferior? why should that be my impetus to better myself? isn't that just another form of pride? of not being able to accept my own flaws. why bother to challenge each other, to compete? and for that matter, why have many friends? so what if i have many close and faithful friends, have tons of good times together, forming many precious memories? so what if i'm popular. so what if i'm not? so what if i'm likable, or handsome, or ugly, or a pain in the ass. and so what if i'm just random or perfectly normal? what the point. what the point of status? of power? of having people respect you? or to have people dispise you? what does that reflect about myself? so what if you serve in a church. so what if you can play the drums? so what if your better than your friends in some things that seem 'cool' or whatever? so what if you can sing, so what if you can play the guitar, so what if your smart, so what if your studies are good? so what if you work so damn hard and be great? so what if you get everything that you want in life. so what if life is great fun? so what if it's a misery? in the end, everything we do is a response to another. and it's the way we choose to live our life that defines ourselves. but what are our expectations? do we look lowly upon those lesser than us? do we pity them? and so what if we help them? what the point, what the big deal? what does it reflect about ourselves. are we superior? are we elitist? and if we are at the other side of the coin, then are we truely pathatic? are we truely grateful? would that mean that we are humble? and if we are humble, then is that something to be proud of? is that something that defines us?
what defines us? what do we strive to be? what do we hold on to? so what if we win the nobel prize and all the other good moral and noble prizes there is in the world? so what if we are the greatest advocate of humanity? so what if we have a kind soul, a loving soul, a caring soul? in the end, what does it all matter? what is life?.. is it not an empty shell? never to find fulfillment? we have our goals in life, our visions, but where is the point in all that??? whats the big deal? for that matter, so what if our visions are good? so what if you head a wonderful church and bring dozens of people to Christ? so what if you are a great friend, a mentor and a person who God uses to make a significant change in someone elses life? so what if your everything to someone else? are these not all but temporal? so what if you have great knowledge of Christ? so what if your a Christian, a buddhist, an aetheist, a satanist? (actually it does matter to a certain extend) the point is that in the end, it's not about us. it's never about us. what is it worth to live for ourselves? what is it worth to live for the moment? for the future? what is the point to live to die. what is the point, even, to live for eternity?
there is nothing precious, nothing permanent, nothing worthy, nothing valuable, nothing awesome --- enough --- in this world. we can have everything, but yet have nothing. we can have all happiness and all joy and yet be totally empty, a void within our souls. we can be wise and the smartest person ever, yet also finding that everything is worthless, that humanity itself, is but a facade to mask the face of nothingness.
in the end, nothing is worth living for. not for ourselves, not for others, not for anything thing, not for knowledge, not for love, and definately not for material wealth.
cuz it's not about us. it never was.
It is all, in the end, truely and really, about God. Christ the eternal, awesome and Holy King above all kings.
soo... why do i live my life like this?
it is a choice? or is it predestination.
if it is a choice, then we are fools. but it would also mean that only fools die and salvation, is possible by myself if i ain't a fool. if I choose to live well.
then what does God matter to me?
and if it was predestination, then we are wretches under grace. then we should have already known, that in the end, it was never about us.
so did we choose to live a self-centered life?
maybe... that'd make us wretches wouldn't it?
-or do we just not understand fully what grace truely is about-?
we all are fools. destined to hell.
Word of the Day; 11:23 PM
