Saturday, February 07, 2009

TED says that creativity is being dampened as we grow up cus of fear of judgement. But I figure that creativity is dampened because of negative responses that encompass a fear of judgement. Children would be more than happy to throw out any ''silly'' ideas, beget a form of play. But as children grew up to adults, they learn to conform to social expectations and that causes creativity to be suppressed. Due to fear of negative response, such as being reproved or told that their ideas are silly. And its precisely this type of negative response that come to pass in my household, specifically from my dad. Father, considered the head of the household, thus infecting the rest down the hierarchy. Strange thing is that when I wanted to raise the notion of furthering myself in music, I instinctively went to my mom. Never in my life would I ever have thought to approach my dad. Infact, I might as well not ask at all if my mom wasn't around. Creativity suppressed. Disappointingly, I was absolutely right not to ask my dad cus the immediate response he gave after my mom raised that up to him was a big fat and loud ''NO'' that for some reason I got very... hurt? I don't know. But I got pissed, disappointed with him and a feeling of absolute abhor towards that man so much so that I'm referring to him in the third person. I can only ask the question, what is wrong with him and what is his problem?

I wonder how many of us youths get pissed off and disappointed to the max yet shut it up inside of them cus talking to the parents would have made things worse. ''Anal'' is the only suitable word that comes to my mind. I think seeds of social destruction are planted in children mostly by unreasonable parents that have family communication issues. A recipe for hate and bitterness with fate as its guide as to whether the kid becomes stronger, or broken. I want to be - with all my heart - a good parent, that my kids in the future can say that I have done my job as a father, cus what we suffer will strengthen our resolve to do better. But I don't know whether I can give what I do know have and do not know, because I do not believe that you can give what you do not have, especially for experiences. I think I will fall back onto the years of conditioning and carry on the affliction.

Word of the Day; 12:22 AM